Comments posted by Eric Shadow

  1. Jokes
    Jokes 20 Oct, 2017 09:51 pm
    THEM: in 186 days an asteroid is going to collide with Earth EVERYONE ELSE: *screaming* ME: *deletes MyFitnessPal app*
  1. Jokes
    Jokes 20 Oct, 2017 09:51 pm
    WOMAN: some people shouldn't have children ME: [placing my screaming son in her shopping cart] thank you
  1. Jokes
    Jokes 20 Oct, 2017 09:50 pm
    ME: I had salmon for lunch WIFE: the L is silent, idiot ME: haha I knew that, I meant unch
  1. Hate Trump
    Hate Trump 20 Oct, 2017 09:50 pm
    Americans will spend $9B on Halloween this year. To put in perspective it's almost enough to cover Trump admin's travel expenses for 3 days.
  1. Jokes
    Jokes 20 Oct, 2017 09:49 pm
    Just found out my son is severely allergic to our new puppy. It wasn't an easy decision, but I hear his new foster parents have an Xbox.
  1. Hate Trump
    Hate Trump 20 Oct, 2017 09:49 pm
    Before he's allowed to make any policy changes, Trump should prove he can find Iran on a map.
  1. Jokes
    Jokes 20 Oct, 2017 09:49 pm
    Find that one special person in this world that completes you and make them watch football.
  1. Jokes
    Jokes 20 Oct, 2017 09:48 pm
    The surgeon who worked on my shoulder said it should feel better in a week to seven days, which makes me worry.
  1. Jokes
    Jokes 20 Oct, 2017 09:47 pm
    Most people would use a time machine to go back in time and right some wrong. Not me. I'd use it to spend more time with my old dog.
  1. Jokes
    Jokes 20 Oct, 2017 09:47 pm
    If you're struggling to get noticed and feel like your writing isn't being appreciated remember that Mama Said Knock You Out was a huge hit.
  1. Jokes
    Jokes 20 Oct, 2017 09:46 pm
    You should know something about me before accepting my advice. I'm not good at anything and couldn't care less.
  1. Jokes
    Jokes 20 Oct, 2017 09:46 pm
    [burglar gently waking me] you live like this?
  1. Jokes
    Jokes 20 Oct, 2017 09:45 pm
    My wife was going to write a poem about me as an anniversary gift but couldn't think of anything that rhymes with disappointment.
  1. Jokes
    Jokes 05 Mar, 2017 07:29 pm
    I just asked an old guy with gray hair his secret to living a long life. His secret is "I'm 44. Fuck off."

Eric Shadow

i hope you realize how important none of this is

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